i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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