I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
