btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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