Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
