U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
