Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
