Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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