The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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