please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
