You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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