I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
