I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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