This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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