rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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