ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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