she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
