I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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