dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
