LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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