Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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