In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
