I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
