fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
