if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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