I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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