I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
