It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
