come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i dont even know how to be here
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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