the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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