he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
