Do vagina's smell?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
