So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
