So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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