I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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