Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
