Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
