When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
