kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
