Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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