Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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