The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
