oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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