Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
