woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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