I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
