I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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