i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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