meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
