forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't deserve a penis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
