That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
