They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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