More tranny stories later!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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