Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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