How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
