Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
