I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
