new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
