I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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