What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize