grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
