i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think a kid would responsible me up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
