i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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